House
by renee321
Summary: House is up to his usual tricks while Chase chases, Cuddy nags, Foreman complains and Cameron gets walked on.
1. Whats Yours is Mine

**House, MD Fan Fiction (no title as of yet)  
**

Takes place during the "It's Tuesday" phase of the show; there aren't any particularly planned romantic encounters during this story, though they may come about through a natural progression of the plot. No graphic stuff and (hopefully) no OOC behavior. This is my first _House, MD_ fic, and I've only recently begun watching the reruns. Full cast involved, but may turn character-centric at some point.

* * *

He could hear her heels click-clacking on the linoleum-tiled floors of the hallway and waited for them to enter the office. He could picture the look on her face, and tried not to sneer as he kept his eyes focused on the TV airing his favorite soap.  
"House!" her shrill voice hit a new octave. He glanced up, and focused his eyes on her cleavage. "House, pick your chin up off the floor, wipe the drool from your mouth and get to the clinic! There are 46 patients and only 2 doctors!"  
"Hey Cuddles. You serving fries to go with that milkshake?" He smirked as his feet slid off the chair and onto the carpet beneath while he turned his body to face her. Cuddy rolled her eyes and pointed out the door. "Sorry, can't do it, I'm on my break."  
"What is this, a 48 hour break?" Cuddy shot back.  
"That would be a 52 hour break. I'm taking the accumulated breaks Cameron hasn't used for the past 8 weeks. Come to think of it, she never takes breaks so this could be the start of a 365 hour break." At this, she moved directly between him and the television, staring him down. He cocked his head and stared at her breasts again with a quizzical look on his face, "Nope, General Hospital is still more interesting. Now move."  
"House if you're not down in the clinic in the next 20 minutes I'll cut off your supply of vicodin." Cuddy warned.  
"Ouch, you really know how to hurt a guy. Make it 25 minutes; I want to see if they're going to make up." House teased.  
"Fine." Cuddy stated as she walked out the door. She smiled quietly to herself, knowing that he may have chosen his own time frame, but she'd won the battle. She passed Dr. Cameron in the hallway and the customary pleasantries were exchanged before she stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button to take her to the sanctity of her office.

* * *

  
"Ah, Dr. Cameron, how good of you to come by." House remarked as he picked up his nametag and tossed it to her. "You've got clinic duty."  
"House, I'm taking a break," she said calmly as she tossed the nametag back. It landed with a small bounce next to him on the chair, which once again held his tennis-shoed feet, and she made her way through the glass doors that separated their offices.  
"Yeah, about that." House started.  
"House, legally I have to take a break," Cameron said, popping her head back into his office.  
"And legally, you already have… in fact, according to my calculations you owe the hospital 3 more break hours." House said, turning off his soap and turning to her. 'What perfect timing,' he thought, 'my show just rolled credits.'  
"What? House, I haven't had so much as a coffee break for months!" Cameron insisted.  
"Right, and when you leave that much up to chance you risk losing your breaks altogether." He hinted.  
"You're giving me your clinic hours in exchange for my breaks? House!" she nearly screamed. "House, you can't do that; particularly the part without my consent!"  
"It's already done, now get or I'll tell Chase you like him. It is Tuesday you know." He smiled, knowing he'd won.  
"You're an ass."  
"And you're late for your clinic hours… Dr. House." He teased, throwing the nametag at her again.


	2. Tuesdays and Other Days

"Sir, I need you to take a seat please. I can't examine you unless you're sitting on the exam table." Dr. Chase found it difficult to control his frustration with the elderly man who couldn't stop pacing around the room long enough to be examined.

"But my toe's killing me!" the man protested.

"And if you sit down it will hurt less!" the Australian doctor tried to explain without losing his temper.

"Son, you don't seem to understand what I'm saying. I ain't got no way to get up on that exam table with this broken toe!" the man waved his hands about, wondering why this foreign idiot was being permitted to treat him.

Chase shook his head and ushered the man over to a chair, where he proceeded to examine the toe, which looked like it had seen better days. "How exactly did you hurt your toe?"

"I ain't never heard so many stupid questions in my life! How's it look like I hurt it?" the man demanded.

"Sir, I'm required to ask these questions before I treat you. The quicker you answer them, the easier it will be for me to get you treated and out the door." Chase said, feeling his face flush from anger.

"I want a different doctor! You ain't got no cares for me and my toe." The man said as he relaxed back into the chair.

"Sir, the other doctors will have to ask the same questions." He said, rolling his eyes at the man. The old man ignored the comments and Chase threw his hands up in defeat, "Fine, I'll find a doctor more suited to your needs!"

As he walked outside, he narrowly avoided knocking over a clearly frazzled Cameron. "Cameron, patient in 3 for you."

"Chase, I just finished with 6 patients, can't you take the one in 3?" she asked, hoping that as it was Tuesday a request might carry favor with him. "I've got to take a break at some point!"

"Come on Cameron, he's a sweet old guy, you'll just love him," Chase lied, "Or, do you want to take a break with me in the janitor's closet? It is _Tuesday_."

"Give me the chart." She sighed as she walked towards the door. "You owe me."

* * *

"He's getting worse. He's snapping at someone every day, and it's not right. It creates a hostile work environment and I'm sick of it!" Foreman whined.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with him 2 months ago." Cuddy said from behind her desk, not bothering to shift her position in the least. "Then again, 2 months ago Chase and Cameron were taking the brunt of it."

"You think this is because I can't deal with him?" Foreman demanded, trying not to raise his voice too much with his boss.

"Dr. Foreman, you've been working with House for long enough to know how he operates. If you are no longer able to work with him that's one thing; but expecting me to step in and try to change him on your behalf is quite another." Cuddy said coldly. Had his concern included more than the regular tattling that might occur with a couple of teenagers who are accusing parents of unfavorable treatment, she might have done more.

"Is it because…" he started.

"Don't even go there. You can take the rest of the day to think about what you have and were about to say Dr. Foreman." Cuddy narrowed her eyes as she tried to retain her cool façade.

"I don't need the rest of the day." Foreman shot back.

"I'm sorry, did you get the impression that was a request? Take the rest of the day off, and don't come back until you have considered the consequences of what you're suggesting."

"Fine." He spat. As he walked out the door he paused briefly, looking over his shoulder at the Dean of Medicine who had returned to the mound of paperwork that sat on her desk. "Whatever."


	3. Averages

"You're welcome!" Wilson exclaimed as House swooped in and stole the sandwich out of his hands.

"Does that work on anyone?" House asked as he took a large bite of the juicy sandwich.

"It doesn't have to work on _everyone_. Most people don't take without being asked first." Wilson laughed, astounded that after so many years his friend hadn't grown manners, or at least become somewhat more civilized. "What are you doing here, anyways? I heard Cuddy was on the warpath because you'd been ditching your clinic hours again."

"According to my calculations, at an average rate of 9 patients per hour, I should be on my 10th patient in the next 5 minutes.

"You've got Chase doing your clinic duty again?" Wilson asked.

"Hell no, he'd have gone through 15 patients in an hour." He retorted.

"Foreman?"

"Foreman can do 60 in an hour." House said, taking another bite.

"Cameron? You're making Cameron do your clinic duty?" Wilson asked, shocked… yet somehow not entirely surprised. "She was in the clinic for 3 hours this morning!"

"And now she's back for 2 more hours." House mumbled through his chewing. "Traded her my hours for her breaks… she didn't seem to have too enormous a problem with it. Funny how that works… she does the work and you do the complaining."

"You… you are unbelievable. You take the one person who actually _would_ do anything for you, and manipulate her into doing _everything_ for you. At some point she's going to fight back, you know." He knew his advice would go to waste. If there were a way to get out of Clinic Duty, his friend would find it; no matter whom he had to step on or push away to do it.

* * *

"Has Dr. House reported for his Clinic Duty yet?" an apathetic Dr. Cuddy asked as she strolled over to the desk. The woman at the desk nodded her head and held up 4 fingers, indicating where the current 'House' patient was being seen. She walked towards the door and opened it, expecting to see House, Wilson and a patient enjoying a break. Instead she turned away quickly and closed the door, standing outside the room, processing what she'd just seen and trying to figure out whom to ream first. As luck would have it, she didn't have to think for very long as an exhausted looking Cameron emerged from the room.

"Dr. Cuddy, may I help you with something?" she asked, still concerned about the patient who had been intruded upon.

"No. Is there anything I can do for you… Dr. House?" she asked, clearly a bit aggravated.

Cameron sighed, knowing that she was going to get a lecture from Cuddy and be chewed out by House at a later time. "I should get back to my patient."

"Fine, but answer me one question first." She insisted.

"What?"

"Why are you letting him do this?" she asked, with what could almost be interpreted as genuine concern.

"If I didn't do it, it wasn't going to get done. I can understand your frustration with him not completing his responsibilities, but at least this way the patients don't suffer." Cameron reasoned, trying to use as much logic as she could. She knew that Cuddy would, at least, appreciate her attempt and making a reasonable defense of her actions.


End file.
